Don't let this memory fade away...
This is pretty much a blog that is going to be like an online diary to me. I need to vent and this is how I'm going to do it. you can follow me if you want, but that's completely up to you.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you.
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November 18 4:38 pm18. November 2010
Today, all I could think about was that I cut myself.
I wondered what everyone in school would say if they knew that nice, sweet, shy, innocent Victoria cut herself. I wondered what they would say if they knew she wanted to do it again.
I don’t want to want to do it again, but for some sick, twisted reason I like the slight sting I feel from my cuts and I like seeing it there.
At the same time, I hate it. It just reminds me that I was not strong enough to resist the temptation I tried so hard to keep myself from. It’s a reminder that I’ve failed.
I don’t know if I am going to cut myself again, but I really want to, and that scares me. I don’t want to want to cut myself.
All these feelings confuse me and I hate it. I just want my life to be simple. I want to be happy. I just wish I could go back to when I was younger, when I loved my life, and didn’t sometimes feel like a walking zombie.
Signed,
Victoria
