March 2011
1 post
March 16, 2011 11:49 pm
Hello!
Well, it sure has been a while, hasn’t it?
I guess I’ll tell you what has happened with me. I cut myself till about the second week of December, I believe. Then, I told my mom, because my cuts were getting deeper and I was getting even more scared of what I could do to myself. She was sad, just like I thought. Telling her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,...
December 2010
1 post
December 2 2:57pm
I’m scared.
I feel like I have no drive to do anything anymore.
I feel like all I live for is to do things that make me want to rip my heart out of my chest and just end it all.
I hate this feeling so much. It’s a feeling that even cutting won’t help.
And I have no one to help me.
I have no way to get this feeling out. I can’t tell my parents because they would freak...
November 2010
8 posts
November 29 10:12 pm
I cut.
And I cut.
And I cut again.
It’s like a cycle. I cut and feel better, then when I start to feel bad again, I cut again.
It never ends.
I’m ashamed too. I think about how disappointed my parents would be if they knew. It scares me to think what their reaction would be.
Would they be mad? would they cry? would they try to seek help for me, even if I didn’t want it?
...
November 26 2:35 pm
I didn’t cut yesterday.
I had a good day. Thanksgiving was actually nice.
I cut today though. Whenever something wrong happens and it makes me upset or angry or anything I just feel the need to. I hate it.
I enjoy cutting though, as much as I hate it.
It’s all so confusing.
My life sucks.
I don’t even really have anything else to say about anything.
I do hope I will, at...
November 24 10:11 pm
I just cut.
It stings. I don’t dislike it though. It’s so hard to explain how it makes me feel.
Right now, I feel like I can’t talk to anybody about anything. Everyone has gotten mad at me for something the last few days over something that I was just informing them of for someone else. In other words, they shot the messenger
And another thing, I didn’t write anything...
November 22 7:47 pm
Today started out as a good day.
I woke up feeling content, talked to some friends and actually seemed to be enjoying my day.
Then, as time went on, I just started to feel worse. I felt so terrible it was almost unbearable.
Now, I barely feel like I have the energy to do anything. The things that made me smile yesterday and make me feel happy are doing nothing.
I hate this feeling. It’s...
November 21 10:45 pm
So I didn’t write anything yesterday, and I actually had a pretty nice day.
I went to see Harry Potter, and I really enjoyed the movie. I do think it seemed very incomplete at the end, but that’s because it is. It’s only part I.
Besides that, today I got a new dog. He’s sweet and I love him, but he still can’t distract me from the things I really want to do but...
November 19 3:23 pm
Hello,
Today I felt a lot better than I have in a while. It may be since it’s Friday, and because I have something to look forward to. I’m seeing Harry Potter tomorrow and I’ve loved it since I was really little.
Yesterday I did cut though. It wasn’t bad at all, barely a cut. That makes me feel weak. It makes me feel like I’m not strong enough to not cut, but I’m not strong enough to cut deep...
November 18 4:38 pm
Today, all I could think about was that I cut myself.
I wondered what everyone in school would say if they knew that nice, sweet, shy, innocent Victoria cut herself. I wondered what they would say if they knew she wanted to do it again.
I don’t want to want to do it again, but for some sick, twisted reason I like the slight sting I feel from my cuts and I like seeing it there.
At the same...
November 17, 2010 11:23 pm
Well this is my first post…ever on this tumblr. I do have another, but I don’t want it burdened with my problems.
I’m depressed. I feel unworthy of being depressed though, since nothing is even really wrong in my life. Sure it can get stressful, but I always dealt with it fine before. Why is this happening now?
Even worse, tonight I cut myself. I liked it and at the same time,...